Every Who in Ottawa
Liked elections a lot…
But Paul Martin
Who lived on Mount Corrupt
Did Not!
But there he stands this Christmas season
Hating the Whos for forcing the reason
It could be that his pals had run out of money
It could be perhaps the people don’t find him funny
But every Who, knew the most likely reason of all,
The scandal plagued Liberals had to fall.
But whatever the reason,
Not being funny or letting his pals take your money
He stood there this Christmas season, hating the Whos,
Staring down from Mount Corrupt with grinchy frowns
He saw politicians stumping all over Canadian towns
Jack and Gilles were coming up his hill
Stephen Harper had scored with his GST spiel
“Oh what am I to do“ worried Martin that night
Would Canadians vote against the left and the right
The gears in his head started spinning
“I must keep the Liberals winning“
Some are worried about issues, he said with a sneer
His campaign manager said Happy New Year, the election is almost here
Create programs and legislate
Dole out billions and pontificate
That’s it said Martin with a smirk
As he set out with your taxes to make his plan work
He got his gremlins, tall and small
To line up and say once and for all
“Let‘s blame the Whos for the government‘s fall“
“I know just what to do,“ Martin laughed in his throat.
“I‘ll make empty promises in return for their vote.“
And he chuckled, and clucked, “I‘ve got a great proposition.
“With some lies we‘ll destroy the opposition”
He flew out his cave with money and schemes
Feeling cocky that he could realize his dreams
The plan was enacted,
The ballots were about to be cast,
The sham, he was sure, will make voters return to the past.
With grinchy style, Martin attacked Harper
Calling him a phoney and a right-wing interloper
Layton he said was a fake
Who was all icing and no cake
As for Duceppe, the leader of the Bloc
The Grinch stuffed separatist fear into his sock
No one could stand in his way
Not even the Green Party had any sway
The Grinch was sure he would win
After all he had money for the spin.
He wooed the masses with his empty vows
Everywhere he went, the Grinch got the bows
This left the Whos shaking in fear,
The polls were saying it will be the Liberals who will be here
The Whos had something to be worried
Like the Grinch, to their extreme visions they were married.
They had only themselves to blame
Because an election during Christmas is definitely a shame
Stephen Harper could not say love
Jack Layton wanted Medicare to pay for his gloves
Worst of all was that fella Gilles
Who wanted to give Canadians the separation chills
The Whos say they can win the country in a cinch
Canada will be mine insists the Grinch
So it‘s left to us to find a way
We must try again for a government that can stay
The Asian Pacific Post, with apologies to Dr. Seuss
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