Spanking kids to discipline them

Experienced and professional experts answer questions relating to all round family health in Canada.

 

Q - I am a new immigrant and I have heard that spanking my children to discipline them is against the law in Canada. Is this true? Why does the law dictate how I bring up my children? How do I adjust to it?

 









Dana Rose
Program Coordinator at the
North

Delta Family Resource Centre 
Dana Rose answers:

Moving to a new country can be difficult, especially when there are cultural differences to understand. Canadian law allows parents to use "reasonable force" on their children, while also governing such things as child abuse.


It may be hard to decide what is abuse and what is punishment, but if a child is bruised or injured, that is not acceptable.


But let us talk about discipline and punishment and the difference between them. Discipline is meant to teach a child how to behave, what is safe and how to get along with others. Punishment is hurting a child to control their behaviour.


Physical punishment teaches a child that hitting is okay - it does not teach them self control, and can injure them emotionally as well as physically. The spanked child is fearful of the punishment and may become ‘sneaky’ so their parents don’t know what they are doing.


He thinks that the bigger and stronger you are, the more power you have and you can get your way by hurting others.
Children who are spanked often become rebellious, aggressive and out of
control.


What you can do:


• To encourage positive behaviour, the most important thing a parent can do is communicate clearly. By setting limits and enforcing them in a way that makes sense to the child, you are more likely to gain the child’s cooperation.


• Know what is reasonable for the child’s age and developmental stage. Speak in a positive way (‘that toy is for playing with outside’, not, ‘don’t play with that toy here’.)


• Divert the child if possible (if they tend to grab things while you are out visiting, take a few of their favorite toys with you)


• Point out consequences of their behaviour (‘when you left your coloring book outside, it got ruined in the rain’.)


• Most of all, when you see them becoming upset or overwhelmed, help them go to a quiet place and calm down.


Remember that spanking teaches your child that you are angry with them as well as with their behavior. Discipline addresses the behavior while leaving their self esteem intact.


There are many services and agencies to support families who are new to Canada and to help them enjoy parenting their children...Don’t be afraid to ask for help!

 

Dana Rose is the program coordinator of the North Delta Family Resource Centre, a program of the Boys and Girls Club Community Services of Delta and Richmond.
Contact: 604-591-9262 ext 118 or visit www.bgccs.bc.ca or www.frpofbc.ca

 

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